CHARLIZE THERON'S DRESS CONCEALED A WEAPON
ACTRESS WAS PACKING ROCKET LAUNCHER AT OSCARS

Los Angeles -- Several news agencies are reporting that oscar-nominated actress Charlize Theron was enlisted to provide extra security for Hollywood's most glamourous evening. Although Ms. theron's dress drews gasps and guffaws for the turkey-sized blue bow on the left shoulder, insiders report the bow actually contained a TX-575 rocket launcher, that was capable of firing surface-to-air rockets with the slightest touch of a button hidden in the Ms. Theron's small clutch purse.

Oscar organizers refused to comment on the security for the event. However, one of the security managers did remark "Let's just say Charlize Theron was wearing my favorite dress of the evening," adding to speculation. .