NEW YORK CITY -- In a shocking scene of untold destruction and terror, Actress Sarah Jessica Parker's giant, malformed nose detached from her body yesterday evening and went on a rampage through midtown Manhattan.

"The nose just tore through Central Park and headed straight for the river," said city spokesperson, Harry Smiderson. "Emergency personnel and law enforcement were on the scene immediately, but there have been numerous casualties and massive property damage."

The nasal terror was cornered by police SWAT teams and "Blown to Hell" according to eyewitnesses. These eyewitnesses reported seeing SWAT members firing automatic weapons into the monstorous nostrils while "repelling down nose hairs the size of electrical cables."

A spokesperson for the now nose-free actress said the actress could offer no explanantion for the incident, and was "Appalled by the loss of life and property, but quite frankly glad to see the nose gone."

Statements from New York State Governor George Pataki and New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg are expected later this afternoon.