MALIBU -- Actress Sharon Stone narrowly avoided tragedy yesterday when her vagina spontaneously burst into flames. Startled witnesses on the beach where Ms. Stone was lounging reported that Ms. Stone "stood up and began screaming - running for her nearby cooler."

Apprently, quick action by Ms. Stone, in the form of a bottle of spring water, allowed the actress to avoid and serious injury.

"She just jumped up off her towel and began yelling 'My woo-woo, my woo-woo!' said nearby beachgoer William Woodson. "Then she grabbed a bottle of something from her cooler and dumped the whole thing all over her crotch. There was a kind of sizzling noise, and a smell like one of those bug zappers."

Ms. Stone's publicist reported she was at home and resting comfortably.

Spontaneous vaginal burning, also referred to as "Instantaneou-corruptu-ignitus-vaginus" occurs over 36 times every year, mostly on the west coast of the United States.